On reading the previous blogs on this topic you will have noticed the ‘trapeze bar’ of things different swinging towards you with your name on it and I am sure that you made a resolve to let go of your current limiting behaviour and grasp and ride this new identity.
You probably noticed that your Quadrant preferences got a little uncomfortable when you fired off your ‘not me’ behaviours and based on our last conversation I am sure that you know that you are creating new pathways in your brain and wiring yourself for new behaviours in the future.
The sign of mastery is when you rewire yourself by these means on the ‘fly’. It is when you can be vulnerable in the face of threat or adversity.
What do you do when you are working with people and they have an objection, a question, different perspective or viewpoint to you? Do you go onto your old safe patter of what you know or what they told you at college, or what the research says it should be – Or do you go into the void. That area of uncertainty, that area of unknowingness, the area where you can trust that transformation will occur if you open yourself up to the process?
Are you willing to ask questions and are you willing to not know? To not give advice and not come through with the definitive answer?
Are you willing to go into the space that that person occupies rather than in your own head.
It appears that in our culture, this transformation zone is looked upon as a “no-thing,” a no-place between places. Sure, the old trapeze bar was real, and the new one coming towards me I hope is real too. But, the void in between, that’s just scary, confusing, disorienting “nowhere” It must be got through as fast and as unconsciously as possible. What a waste!
It’s the space between the notes that makes the music. It’s the silence in a discussion that creates the emphasis.
What if the transformation zone is the only real thing and the bars are illusions, just noise. Things we dream up to avoid the void, where the real change, the real growth occurs for us?
Whether this is true or not it remains that the transformation zones in our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honoured, even savoured. Yes, with all the pain and fear and feelings of being out-of-control that can (but not necessarily) accompany transformations, they are still the most alive, most growth filled passionate, expansive moments in our lives.
They are decision points. Where we decide to go back into our old patterns or they are times when we release ourselves to the new – to the change.
Today notice the decision points – those points where you decide to enter the silence, the void, the space between the notes.
