It is common to perceive that a new year brings with it hope, vision and possibilities for change. A year ahead that will be better, bigger, happier, more productive etc than the last.
You may have made New Year’s resolutions for 2019. Maybe they were around your health, your wealth or your relationships. Maybe they were to have things be better than last year or to get away from the issues that have plagued you up until now.
The question on this is – Will your New Year’s resolutions produce lasting lifetime change and optimisation of your life? OR Is this just a fun filled fantasy to immerse yourself in on New Year’s day? Are your resolutions the trailer of your life’s movie to come? OR, as is most often the case, will they fade when the reality of life’s pressures kick back in come February?
How likely is it that the new vision that you have taken on-board will manifest and bring about true, long lasting change?
The truth is that 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail….Why is this?
Because your conscious beliefs, unconscious programming, habitual behaviours and your identity are far more powerful than your resolutions.
RESOLVING to do something and actually DOING SOMETHING are two very different things.
The excitement and euphoria of dreaming and planning is a product of your Quadrant 1 part. It stares into the future and gets excited with wholehearted enthusiasm for the possibilities which lie ahead.
At the same time the things that stop you being, doing and having all that you wish for are rooted in every situation that you have encountered on your life’s journey from conception to now.
Everyone has stories about themselves that drive their behaviour. You have an idea of who you are and what’s important to you. Essentially you have a “story” operating about yourself at all times.
These self-stories have a powerful influence on your actions and outcomes.
Whether you realise it or not, you make decisions based on staying true to your self-stories. Most of this decision-making based on self-stories happens unconsciously. You strive to be consistent. You want to make decisions that match your idea of who you are. This is the function of the Quadrant 2 part. This reference to the past will resist any intrusion of ideas and possibilities which are not proven by your history of experience.
When you make a decision or act in a way that fits your self-story, the decision or action will feel right. When you make a decision or act in a way that doesn’t fit your self-story you feel uncomfortable. It’s a NOT ME moment and you will scurry back to the familiar or the ME behaviour.
For example, you may create a New Year’s resolution the “I will double my income in 2019” BUT if your self-story is that you are not worthy of a higher level of income then your behaviours will make sure that you don’t do any more than you HAVE to do in your job or take on any opportunities that open up new income potentials. In this state there is little opportunity to attract the increase that you say you want this year and you will maintain the income that fits with your self-story.
Every thought and every action reinforces your deeply held beliefs. And herein lies the solution.
If you want to optimise your life you must do different behaviour and gently shift your underlying self-story. Do you want to be more healthy, wealthy, loving, optimistic, capable (you name it)? Then you’d better have behaviours and an operating self-story that says you are THAT person.
This process gradually removes the things that your journey has imprinted into you.
So, when it comes to 2019 – forget the HUGE resolutions that are massively NOT ME. Instead, consider the little things that will get you closer to the thing you want. Know that whenever you feel the NOT ME feeling you are on the trail of making change. Ask yourself “Does this thought or action get me closer to my desired outcome”?
Give up on your New Year Resolutions, rewrite your self-story and create a new journey of self optimisation.
Mark Postles D.C.
